


Exposure

by AlmandineWinter



Category: SS-GB (TV)
Genre: Huth really shouldn't drink that much, Huth's musings after the "drunk night", M/M, Misunderstandings, this is a sad little thing, unrequited love (maybe ...)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 01:16:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18325760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlmandineWinter/pseuds/AlmandineWinter
Summary: Short contemplation of Huth's thoughts after the night of the bombing, when he (more or less) confessed his feelings for Archer.





	Exposure

He forced his eyes open. They were burning, sticky. He was lying on the sofa in his office, with an intolerably hurting head. What had happened? Slowly, starting with the sore, bitter taste in his mouth, memory came back. Chaos. Blood. Albrecht. Oh god, Albrecht. With a jerk he sat up. A pain cut like a flash through his stomach.

His guide, confidant, father figure was gone, annihilated by a cowardly assault. Not even a last word he had been permitted to mutter. The memory of his trusted friend was all agony and broken eyes now. Oskar could still smell the blood, hear himself cry out.

He took a deep breath, head buried in his cold hands, wanting to scream out about his own stupidity. He and Douglas in his office. Drunk, very drunk he had been, desperate, vulnerable. So lonely. Douglas hadn’t let him suffer alone in the solitude of this dark and bleak room. And now Oskar wished otherwise.

What was it that he had said, “Do you want to stay with me”? Off-key. He remembered himself internally panicking, trying to put his words on a more innocuous level, only to make it worse.

Ardent longing written all over his face. An untamable hand caressing Douglas’ cheek, neck, lingering on his chest for a moment. A perilous, incautious, hopeless move. Had his self-composure died along with Springer?

What was Douglas thinking about all this now? He had been clearly uncomfortable for a moment before he shifted back to his usual unreadable demeanour. For him it must have sounded like a Faustian bargain. Career, protection, status – in exchange for what, his soul?

But that wasn’t what Oskar intended. “I want you to be with me” he meant. And if he was completely honest with himself, he wanted Douglas to know. Because there might never come another chance to tell him.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on tumblr. I don't own the characters, but the melancholy is mine. ;-)


End file.
